Am I a Model now?

 Short answer, NOPE...

Hello and welcome back! 

I will be releasing pictures from a recent photoshoot every other day for a while! Thanks to the incomparable work of my dear friend and photography Queen herself, Josephine Jimenez, I have so many pictures to share! One of my old teachers once told us, "Take pictures now while you are young and beautiful," for websites and promotional purposes. While I do agree it is important to have recent pictures of yourself for promotional purposes, I do not think that this ideal of selling your physical appearance is a healthy way to think of ourselves as individuals and as a brand. 

To be clear, I am no expert in this topic. I can say, from experience, having your entire identity being based on what you can give or be for someone else is not healthy. When I was younger, I was the well behaved, overachiever that my parents, teachers, and coaches would trot around at events saying, "look at it!" Not literally, but I remember being at dinners and mixers and other highfalutin events where I felt like an accessory for someone to tote around. 

Later in life a professor of mine did the equivalent of a man telling a girl to smile because she looks prettier to me. Now, it was woven in with a slight compliment so I did not think much of it. Sitting there during the class I felt small. His words although superficially kind, akin to someone from the South saying, "Bless your heart," made me feel as though my only purpose that day was to be a decoration to make him feel better. I am not suggesting that we should never compliment anyone or that a professor/authority figure cannot say something nice to a subordinate. What I am saying is that it must come from a place of wanting to be kind to the person and not for your own self interest. 

My roommate at the time knew how to be kind for the sake of kindness like no one else. We'll call him M.

During my freshman year of college, you would seldom find me in my room. On the off chance that I was home and I wasn't sleeping and my roommates were also awake, we were not a very talkative bunch. One day though M and I were both home and doing homework and he looked over at me from his desk unprompted and said, "You know Braxton, your smile is like Christmas." I was feeling very guarded at the time so I was a bit skeptical of what he meant. The more that I sat with that compliment, the more I realized how truly kind and sincere M was being. 

For a long time, I thought that my identity was based on how useful I was or how I could please someone else. Obviously, that is not healthy and I am still working to move past that. These pictures are for me. These pictures are meant to be an encouragement for me to see that the things that I am insecure about are insignificant. So here's a picture from the photoshoot! 

If you are in need of a photographer, I can send you Josie's information. She's just the greatest. 

Thank you for hanging out with me. 

As always, I love you, you are talented, you can do whatever it is that you are putting work towards. See you next time!

With love,

BP

PS. Thank you M for being a beautiful person.